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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 9, 2010 0:20:28 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] He'd done it. She knew he would do it. It was inevitable. It was Sean. Oh, god was it Sean! She had known all along the risk that he might cheat on her, and she ignored it. In her head, she had rationalized that maybe he was falling in love with her. Maybe that was enough to keep him faithful. She was wrong somewhere. He didn't love her or he didn't want her, or maybe he was just the worst fucking guy on the face of the planet. But whatever it was, one thing was true. She wanted to tear him apart.
Her first stop was his house. No call, no warning. He didn't need to know she was coming. He didn't need to be prepared. He should be taken by surprise like she was to find out that he had done what she feared he would do. It made her sick to think about what lies he might spew to her. Better yet, he might even just tell her the truth. How great would that be! And he'd probably do it as if he was proud of what he'd done, like nothing was wrong. God, did she want to wring his neck. She had told him not to make her regret this, and regret this she did now, immensely.
Lonny knocked on the door, keeping herself contained until she saw Sean. She didn't need anyone mistaking her for her mother and committing her. She kept herself nice and calm. Calm. That's what she kept saying over and over in her head. Calm. Calm. Calm. That and, don't murder him. He's not worth the jail time. Someone answer! Part of her wanted him to answer, the other part hoped he wasn't home.
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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Post by JOSH CAMERON HARTLEY on Aug 9, 2010 0:25:56 GMT -5
josh had been busy putting juliet down for nap when he heard the knock on the apartment door. he cursed under his breath because he knew it was one of his brothers. those two were always forgetting their keys. josh looked at his watch - it was still a little too early for brian to be home from school (if he even went), so it must be sean. damn, that boy needed to learn some responsibility. josh made sure his daughter was all tucked in and warm before he gently closed her bedroom door and walked down the hall to answer the knock.
he opened the door and was surprised to see a young woman there. he had no idea who she was, so he felt a little awkward. "uh, hey. is there something i can help you with?" he asked.
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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 9, 2010 0:37:01 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] When Josh answered, Lonny let out a long held breath. She was glad to see that there was another minute where she didn't have to confront Sean. This was hard, very hard. And that was saying something for someone like Lonny. She was fearless, right? What did it matter if she had to take down a full idiots to make everything better? But this was Sean. She thought she loved Sean. Maybe, I don't know. Can't make any promises. She was too conflicted to know, especially now. It made her want to puke. You could see it all over her face, despite how much she tried to hide it.
"Hi. I was just...uh...looking for Sean. Is he home?" She asked sweetly and politely. But you could tell she wanted to just scream at someone. As much as she tried to be composed and calm, she was bursting at the seams and she just might pop at any time. Her eyes were already red though not stained with tears yet. That would come later. Hopefully much later instead of sooner.
"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything. I just really needed to talk to him and I didn't want to call him for it. It's important." Oh, it was very very important. Josh had no idea. Did Josh even know that her and Sean were dating? Probably not considering that he seemed shocked she was there. That meant Sean hadn't told him. Was Sean embarrassed by her? Was he just playing her this whole time. She wanted to punch something.
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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Post by JOSH CAMERON HARTLEY on Aug 9, 2010 0:46:57 GMT -5
damn, did this woman looked pissed. josh knew she was about to ask for sean before she even opened her mouth. to tell you the truth, this happened a lot. girls would always call or just show up to come and bitch out sean. most of the time he was never home and they just gave up after awhile, but something about this girl was different. she looked damn persistent. josh hoped she'd beat the shit outta his younger brother because everyone knew sean needed it. "i'm sorry, but he isn't home. he's at work." josh said, which was the truth, that's why josh was home right now. he got sean a job at the store and was able to cut back on some hours.
not knowing what to do, he decided to invite her in. after all, this might get interesting. "i'm josh by the way, sean's older brother. would you like to come in? i'm about to make some lunch?"
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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 9, 2010 0:53:53 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] Sean wasn't home. Good. That meant she didn't have to talk to him. She was really not up to this. She'd end up beating the shit out of him like everyone wanted her to. There was no doubt about that. She'd fuck him up when she saw him. It hurt like hell. She had never had this feeling before, other than from her mother. The feeling of betrayal and distrust, an aching burning pain in her chest numbing her whole body. God, I'm so fucking stupid. She thought.
"I don't want to bother you. I just needed to tell him something. I'll just call him later. I'm sorry." She apologized to Josh because she knew what she looked like right now, an angry girlfriend wanting to sock her cheating boyfriend. And it wasn't a pretty sight. The light in her eyes was long gone. There was nothing but a glossy darkness from which she had retreated to in this time. She didn't have the mental health to deal with this sort of thing. It made her crazy. Lonny sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, unsure of how she wanted to proceed. Maybe just run away? Who knows. But she knew she had no one to talk to. Sean was the one she talked to. And he'd ruined that.
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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Post by JOSH CAMERON HARTLEY on Aug 12, 2010 14:47:49 GMT -5
always mr. nice guy, josh really felt for this girl. he knew how his younger brother could be. sean always took advantage of girls and led them on, only to break their hearts. the weird thing was about this girl was that she was totally not sean's type. she was a brunette, when sean preferred blondes. she was pale, while sean like tanned woman. this girl was also womanly and just...plain too good looking for sean. why the hell was she even with him? sean dated slutty girls and this girl did not fall into that category.
"really, it's okay. you can come in. i know how sean is, i've lived with him for twenty two years, he's a total prick. just come inside and have lunch with me. you can talk to me about what happened if you'd like, but no pressure." he said to her with a welcoming grin.
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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 12, 2010 15:04:30 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] Lonny had nothing else. Why not? She felt her legs carry her into the house before she could stop them. She knew Josh, not well, but she knew him. He was always the nicer of the three brothers from what she could tell, though he did have his own bad streak. She felt like she wasn't even in her body anymore as she entered and stood beside him. Her arms were stilled locked around herself, her head down. This was not Lonny at all, not one bit. The girl always had her head held up high, her back straight. She was always neat and clean and pristine. This was completely opposite of how she normally acted. She didn't usually care what men did or anything like that. She was falling apart.
This had only ever happened once before. When she had been sixteen, she had met a man she would never forget and never stop loving. But not long after they began, he went of to the military and got killed overseas. She had never gotten over it, never wanted another man, not until Sean. And Sean had just ruined it all. The one time she betrayed her faithfulness in love to George for someone else and they shattered her. She knew she should have never let Sean in.
"Nothing really happened. He cheated on me. I'm stupid. That's it. I don't even know why I went looking for him. It's not like I'd get any answers, or at least any good ones." She sighed, trying not to cry.
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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Post by JOSH CAMERON HARTLEY on Aug 12, 2010 20:56:13 GMT -5
josh smiled slightly as she walked into the moderately sized apartment. he shut the door gently behind her, locking it, then went to the kitchen, beckoning her to follow. the kitchen was small, but tidy, and there was a wooden table in the middle. on his way to the fridge, josh pulled out a chair for her. "sit." he said to her. then he opened the fridge and got some stuff out to fix a sandwich. he set the ingredients on the counter and peaked over at her to see how she was doing. she looked like a wreck.
stopping in mid process of making a sandwich, josh sat down facing her. looking at her, he reached over and placed a gentle hand on her forearm and gave it a comforting squeeze. "i know what you're going through. it's difficult and it just plain sucks. first off, you aren't stupid for giving sean a chance, he's stupid for screwing it up." josh said and sighed. he really wanted to stick up for his brother, but the boy messed up. "sean is not good at being a boyfriend. he will mess up...a lot, and it's up to you on whether or not you wanna give him time to learn from his mistakes."
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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 12, 2010 21:23:42 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] "I don't even know what about it it was that made me even decide I would sleep with him, let alone anything else." She told Josh as she sat down at the first place she could find. Why was she even telling him this? She didn't know, but she didn't care who it was she was talking to right now, as long as she didn't have to keep it contained anymore. Lonny wasn't used to confiding in other people, at all. "I could find anyone to hold me, to kiss me. But I had to fucking fall into the arms of the first asshole that pretended he cared about me."
Lonny rested her chin on her arms that were lying on the table. If she hadn't been here so many times before with Sean, she wouldn't have seemed so comfortable in the setting. Otherwise, she may have never even come in. Was it a good sign she spent so much time here?
"The worst part is...I think I'm in love with him, and I don't want to be. I don't want to give something like that to someone like him. But please don't mention that to him. He'll just run the other way...please?"
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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Post by JOSH CAMERON HARTLEY on Aug 12, 2010 21:31:29 GMT -5
it was a little weird how lonny felt so comfortable in his house, obviously sean had her over when he wasn't home. well, lonny seemed like a really good young woman so far, so if he had to choose anyone for sean to bring over, it would be her. as she spoke, josh really focused on her. she seemed sincerely in love with his younger brother and josh had to admit that he was terrified for the girl. sean broke a lot of hearts and he really didn't like the fact that he was breaking lonny's either. she seemed like such a nice girl. josh would need to have a talk with him because if he found out that sean was just leading this girl on like the rest, he would kick his ass for sure.
josh sighed, scratching his head. he had no idea what to tell her. well, he did, but he didn't think telling her to run away from this was a thing she'd like to hear. " sean doesn't know the first thing about love. in fact, i doubt he's ever been in it. he's a selfish boy. he does things for himself and only cares about his feelings. truthfully, he is not the kind of guy you want to give your heart to, but there is also a lot of things that you don't know about him. things that have made him become this way. don't worry, i won't tell him you're in love with him, but i do think you should be careful. this is sean after all, he's not known for being such a great guy..."
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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 12, 2010 21:44:50 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] "Oh, yeah. Trust me I know!" She laughed ironically. "That's why I can't even rationalize with myself why I feel this way. I would love to just shut it off. I'd love to just let it go and have a good ol' time. I don't want to love him or even fucking like him! This is why I stayed away from guys like him in high school. He's not a good guy. It doesn't matter what made him like this. I should have paid attention to what made me like I am and left before I got too attached."
Lonny groaned and let her head fall against the counter top with a small bang, nothing too loud. The pain felt good and sobering to her. It was a nice in away. Nothing Josh said or could say was anything that Lonny hadn't considered or thought about. In fact, he was just repeating everything she already knew. She knew Sean. She did, and that's why she was the dumbass in this situation for expecting anything better from him.
"Fuck my life."
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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Post by JOSH CAMERON HARTLEY on Aug 12, 2010 22:00:49 GMT -5
she banged her head on the table and he freaked a little bit. "geez, don't hurt yourself, okay? it's so not worth it." josh said to her. he reached over and patted her arm once more. he was so out of touch with ways to comfort a girl. he hadn't been alone with a woman in his house for two years or so. it wasn't that he was thinking of lonny in a sexual way or anything, sure she was attractive, but she was sean's girl and he would never take her away from him. even though he knew that he could. lonny needed a nice man in her life and he needed a nice woman. they would be good together...
"lonny, he is a good guy. you just gotta dig real deep to find that guy. it's been shoved down for so long, he might have forgotten it even existed..."
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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 12, 2010 22:11:05 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] She laughed. A good laugh. It was funny to her for some reason. "I don't want to have to dig. I'm just so fucking tired of being with guys who don't have their shit together. I can't be their mother or their therapist. I can't fix everybody. I don't want someone I have to fix or pick at. I want a relationship, not a project." Lonny told him, frustrated with the parallel.
Josh was good looking. He was Sean...but better. Why didn't she pick the good brother? Why couldn't she find someone like him, someone who knew what the hell was what in this world? Someone with their feet on the ground. At this moment, she regretted nothing looking further into the family before settling down. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile of appreciation for him trying to comfort her.
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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Post by JOSH CAMERON HARTLEY on Aug 12, 2010 23:19:46 GMT -5
josh nodded, understanding. sean was just like michelle and lonny was just like him in this whole messed up situation. both of them deserved more than what they were settling for. "understood. so, just dump him then. if you don't want to waste your time trying to peel back the layers, then find someone who's already opened and raw. yeah, it's a hell of a lot easier, but is it worth it in the end?" josh then got up and went back to the counter to prepare their sandwiches.
like brian, josh tended to be overlooked in the presence of sean. girls always like the bad boy types, the ones they needed work and needed to be tamed. women just loved a challenge. never mind the fact that josh had a college degree, a job, a home and he was an intelligent, sweet man. nope, everyone preferred the bad ass with no job and showed them no respect. it was sad really, to think that girls would choose a man so bad for them. josh never got it and he still didn't.
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Post by Lonny Elizabeth Blake on Aug 12, 2010 23:33:26 GMT -5
don't know where to start [/font][/i][/size] let me get to the good parts
might wanna cross up your legs
i've got envy, i've got greed, anything that you need
and i'm not above having to beg[/center] The problem was, it wasn't like she had overlooked Josh, or Brian for that matter, or anyone. It just so happened that Sean was in the right place at he right time. He had walked up to her before any other guy, and he had been there for her. Had he never comforted her in the hospital, they'd never be together and she may have turned to someone like his brother, but that's not how it happened. She wished she had talked to Josh first. Maybe it would have gone nowhere at all, but at least she would have had the peace of mind that she could do better.
But in all reality Lonny didn't think she could do better. She loved Sean, and that's all that mattered. Sure, he was messy and rude, but with her, he tried. He did the best he could, and that's all she wanted from him. He was everything she needed him to be when she needed it, and she didn't want him to change. She loved him just as he was, expect for the cheating part. It was strange to say, but it was true. He was her Sean and she wouldn't have him any other way.
"I don't know." She said simply. "I didn't pick him. I didn't want him. I tried to push him away, but...I don't know what happened. He was there for me. He cared about me. But was it just a game?"
LYRICS by the PRETTY RECKLESS!
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